Even Today..

It’s been a year and I have mastered the art of pretending that I no more need you. “I don’t miss him anymore.”, “I don’t care which girl he is with today!”, “He is an ass, I hate him.” It’s painful to lie each time I am asked about you. I saw you walk aisle the road this morning with her and I couldn’t stop staring at you. Your deep eyes which now had a reflection of her, those gloaming strands of hair, seductive wicked smile, everything is just as alluring as it was then. Nothing has changed in you but the devastating change is that I can no longer play with your mellow hair, no longer kiss those luring lips. I so haven’t forgotten your smell.  I stood there while you walked, paying no heed to my presence. 
 
With each step I took, there was a memory that was reminding me of the beautiful ‘us’.  I don’t know if it was me or you that drove us towards the south but I terribly regret this drive. I think our expectations ruin the imperfectly perfect idea of love. They say if you want big love, you will have to go after it but what am I supposed to do when the entry gate is slammed on my face? Life just doesn’t seem life without you.  You insulted me with the romantic promises that you couldn’t keep, forever’s that were never yours. Just for once, can’t we begin all over again? Without any promises, just here and now, for we don’t know what tomorrow holds? But maybe that would be my biggest mistake. 


I think I owe to myself for having my heart broken, for trusting you when I knew it all along that you will sooner or later just walk away. I deserve an explanation, don’t I? It’s gut-wrenching to wake up each day and gawp at the sky and realize that you are somewhere out there, beneath the same sky, gazing at her, saying things that you once told me. I still remember when you said, “I am more than just fortunate to have you in my life. I will never let you go, till death do us apart!” It isn’t your fault maybe or maybe you were playing on me. I don’t know but what I do know is that someday when I see you walk past me with the girl you love, I will not be moved. Till then seeing you would be like rubbing salt into my wounds but sometimes the only way to heal is to rub salt in the wounds till it stops burning. 


You don’t deserve self-less love. You don’t deserve someone like me. Your love was the venom that killed a part of me. I gave you my entire universe whereas I was just another particle in yours. You were the moon but I was just a star to you. 
My heart is deflated, not torn. I’ll only grow stronger hereon. It’s only a matter of time!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DOING WHAT YOU LOVE..!! :) :)

DOING WHAT YOU LOVE…!! <3 <3 <3 We generally daunt of what would people say after our acts. We care a lot about our reputation in the society, don’t we? But have you ever thought why we think about others when others don’t matter more than our own selves. Is there anything above self respect, self worth? For me NO..! If I can face myself in the mirror then I wouldn’t care for what people say about me. I really think there is no need to think what others envision about you, you have better work in life! Doing what you love would give you one assurance that whatever your life is you are responsible for it! You won’t blame others for things happening in your life! You wouldn’t miss anything that you deserve when you will start listening to your heart! I remember when I was small I always thought; people say they are busy, engrossed in their own problems then how do they get time to make judgments about people? Don’t they have better work in life? If we base our acts on what othe...
Read more

RESPOND THOUGHTFULLY!

Is there something that is eating you up from within? Is there anything that is causing you pain or keeping you from your happiness? There is always something or the other that constantly keeps vexing each one of us. And these flusters hurt the soul and summon misery. It is like a vicious cycle of life. Negativity begets Negativity! But it's in our hand how we respond to this! If we react in a trice, we will definitely fall in the trap of this vicious cycle! There is prodigious difference between a reaction and a response. When you act without thinking rationally, it's reaction. Response is when you calmly analyse and then act in a sensible manner. The difference between reacting and responding is choice! Haven't we heard, "jaldi ka kaam shaitan ka kaam!"  When you have a brawl with a friend and they say something offensive, don't you feel like promptly snapping back at them and showing that you're no less? But This will only ruin your relationsh...
Read more

That's your worth!

Image
You don’t need his validation, you don’t need his love,  Loving yourself is your own behove. Forget what people are going to say, never lose your way,  Paint your life with bright colors, don’t let it stay gray. Nobody can love you the way you yourself can,  You’re the strong woman who needs no man! Be like the sunset, it just doesn’t care,  It continues to be magnificent, even if there is no one to glare. You might have had a horrid past,  But that day wasn’t your last! Your pain, your struggle defines who you are,  You are the moon, do not compare yourself to the stars! Set your heart free, don’t tame your soul,  You don’t need anyone, you’re one whole! Great bright future lies ahead, all you have to do is take a plunge, Your happiness lies in you, it’s time to get out of the grunge. 
Read more